We long for companionship

For most couples, building a happy and successful relationship is a difficult journey. Once the glow of romance fades, couples, including those who were once madly in love, experience conflict, disappointment and even despair. And yet, in spite of the challenges of building a happy relationship, it is natural for us to want to find a partner and settle into a life together. We don’t like being alone. We want someone with whom to share our life experiences. Roger's class is here to help you through this, wherever you are

This class will focus on:

  • Understanding of the five stages of marital satisfaction including where you are and next steps in your journey

  • How to replace toxic patterns of interaction with actions that build unity

  • Greater respect, acceptance and love for your spouse

  • Practices to build positive feelings and friendship

  • Greater responsibility for your own feelings and needs

  • How to have more open and vulnerable communication

  • Skills to handle disagreements and conflict

  • The mindset and communication skills to have a great sexual relationship

  • A shared vision of the future

If our desire for companionship is so deep, what goes wrong?

There are so many things that can affect this, from lacking good role models, coming into marriage ill-prepared, having unrealistic expectations of our partners, and not having learned the tools and skills to build a successful relationship. But the good news is that there is a vast body of research on happiness in marriage. Roger is here to teach you what happy couples do differently from unhappy couples and these practices can be learned.

Pathway to a mature and happy marriage

More about this class

Course curriculum

  1. 1
    • Introduction to the class

    • Tips to get the most from the class

  2. 2
    • The five stages of marital satisfaction

    • Toxic pattern #1: escalation

    • Toxic pattern #2: invalidation

    • Toxic pattern #3: pursue and withdraw

    • Toxic pattern #4: negative interpretations

    • The importance of emotional connection

    • Guidelines to establish positive connection

    • The six habits of a great marriage

    • Check your understanding

  3. 3
    • Self-responsibility in marriage

    • Responsibility “to” vs. responsibility “for”

    • Playing the victim in my marriage

    • Victim or accountable

    • The relationship in your head

    • Take good care of yourself

    • Thou shalt not take offense

    • Emotional self-regulation

    • Emotional self-regulation-thought work

    • Check your understanding

  4. 4
    • The gift of honor and acceptance

    • Your partner’s bill of rights

    • I-it vs. I-thou

    • Speak your partner’s love language

    • Forgiveness: a clearing letter

    • Check your understanding

  5. 5
    • The friendship stage of marriage

    • Get to know your partner

    • Nurture admiration

    • Turn towards

    • Caring days

    • Fun and recreation

    • Sexuality and romance

    • Getting your head right about sex

    • Exploratory conversations about sex

    • Intimacy conversations during sex

    • Check your understanding

  6. 6
    • Communication: growth into mature love

    • Four styles of communication

    • Five patterns of communication

    • Becoming vulnerable

    • Vulnerable listening

    • How to listen

  7. 7
    • The conflict model

    • Steps to resolve conflict

    • Step one: start with respect

    • Step two: create a pool of shared understanding

    • Example of creating a pool of shared understanding

    • Step three: search for solutions

    • Check your understanding

  8. 8
    • Introduction to shared vision

    • Co-creating a shared vision

    • Creating marriage enrichment structures

    • Three marital rituals

    • Marital coat of arms

    • Conclusion

    • Bonus lecture

    • Resources to strengthen your marriage

Bonus material

In addition to Roger's comprehensive videos, you'll have access to:

  • Quizzes

    Check your understanding after most chapters to be sure you've gotten the most out of each lesson

  • Handouts

    Downloadable PDF's with extremely detailed breakdowns of the information you'll learn in many of the lessons

  • Exercises

    Downloadable activities and exercises to do on your own and with your partner

Who is this class for?

  • Anyone who wants to improve their relationship skills

  • Couples who have been together for years

  • Couples just getting started

  • Couples who have a good relationship but want to go to the next level

  • Couples who are struggling

  • Singles and dating

  • Divorcees

  • Counselors and coaches who want to do more work with couples

Meet the instructor

Ph.D.

Roger K. Allen

A little bit about me. I’m a husband to Judy, father of 4 married adult children, and 15 grandchildren (7 boys and 8 girls). I live in Cedar City, Utah where I love spending time outdoors hiking, skiing, and running, especially mountain trails. As a young psychologist, I co-founded along with my father, the late C. Kay Allen, The Human Development Institute through which I provided thousands of hours of individual and marriage counseling to a diverse client population. I supervised the work of other professionals and managed team of 12 full and part-time staff, plus a large volunteer network. During this time, I also created and taught, along with other HDI staff, experiential programs in personal growth which were taught in a number of cities around the country. Several years into my career, I co-founded the Center for Organizational Design in which I consulted many Fortune 500 companies (AT&T Capital, Merck Pharmaceuticals, Honeywell, Proctor & Gamble, Hewlett Packard) as well as small and medium size businesses. Our purpose was to help leaders define their vision, improve their leadership, develop their teams, and create high performance work cultures in which each employee could be a contributing partner in the business. I have also certified over 1200 trainers and consultants from around the world to use our 70+ leadership and team development modules. But my deepest passion has always been personal and family development. In spite of my consulting success, I’ve come back to personal development again and again. I’ve written a couple of books, The Hero’s Choice: Leading from the Inside Out and Raising Responsible, Emotionally Mature Children as well as several e-books on topics of personal growth, marriage and parenting. Officially retired, I’m now spending my time converting curriculum I’ve taught through the years into online video programs. "In my career as a specialist providing treatment to adolescents and their families, I have seen many parenting theories, models and books but nothing which rises to the stature of this work by Dr. Allen." Michael E. Berrett, Ph.D., Psychologist, nationally known clinical teacher, and CEO of Center for Change "Literally thousands of professionals are exposed each year to Roger Allen’s material and the ripple effect has changed people's lives, made work easy, faster and better. Almost weekly I get rave reviews on his material. I cannot say enough about this man and his writings. I have purchased cases of his books and material to share with others." Jim Ullery, President, Center for Organizational Energy

What others are saying

★★★★★

  • A keen insight into the human condition

    "I definitely recommend. I think the author has a keen insight into the human condition and problems that we have and is able to shed a light on problems and issues that keep us from being our best selves. 5+ stars"
    David W.

  • Makes me look deeper into my own marriage

    "This coach is a perfect match for me as I am a relationship and marriage coach and I am learning so many new things. It makes me look deeper into my own marriage and gives me lots of ideas on how to help my clients. Kudos Dr. Allen!"
    Jo-Jean I.

  • It is having a positive influence in our marriage!

    "We are moving slowly along the course and loving it!!!! Every Sunday morning, we meet together for an hour plus and believe it is having a positive influence in our marriage!! We are grateful!!"
    Frank O.

  • My husband and I recommend this to all couples

    "After the third lesson, my husband and I give this course a 5-star. We are doing this together. We have been married for 23 years and are in the ministry of helping young couples in their marriage journey. We took this course to have more knowledge and credibility. It has been very helpful and boosted our desire to help those in a marriage crisis. Also, we found out that there is still much for us to learn and improve on in our marriage. It is an exciting journey that we look forward to. My husband and I recommend this to all couples"
    Noreen S.

  • The best money I've ever spent!

    "This course should cost much more! It was really eye opening to learn about the marriage stages (so many people probably just think that the "magic is gone"). I was able to immediately implement much of the information, and my wife was very receptive to it. The best money I've ever spent!"
    Jason M.

  • Really in depth, great details and well structured

    "The course is really in depth, great details and well structured"
    Godwin E.